I had an awesome weekend.
It’s not about what I did, but how I feel. I haven’t felt this good in a long while, I even feel like smiling!
I am smiling…
I don’t know what it is and I don’t know why either. But suddenly everything just feels very good at the moment.
It’s good to be back again.
Currently listening to Parachutes by Coldplay - an oldie but a goodie!!
Sydney’s turned up with some fantastic weather this weekend (as opposed to the all rain no shine we had last week). A mate of mine and I decided to do the Bondi to Coogee walk yesterday (of course, working around my yoga schedule). This spontaneity meant that we started much later than we had meant for it to (started only at 4pm when we were shooting for 2pm). But it all worked out at the end, we finished before 6pm and squeezed in a sunset, not to mention some lights and a beer with fries. Here’s what I’ve got to show for:
(View of Waverley from Bondi)
(If you squint real hard you’ll see surfers…)
(It was explained to me that this was a good way for a surfer to get in the water…)
(The lights at Coogee)
More photos (pretty much of the same thing) here. I promise one day I will get around to compiling my China photos.
To top of the day, caught up with a girl friend at a Greek restaurant at the The Spot (service was average - I think the restaurant was called Skava?) and then the girls and I went to a lounge at Coogee - “Cushions”. If not for the cocktails I may not have been able to put up with the wannabes at the place, but the alcohol certainly helped…
I am quite enjoying these lazy, slow, unplanned weekends. Here I am enjoying one of the best weekends I’ve had in a while - and this one I’m really relaxed - so no one can tell me I don’t know how to relax!! Life, just like the weekends, is what you want to make of it.
Currently listening to The Breakthrough by Mary J. Blige
So I turned 23 this week. One thing that I always end up doing, since my birthday is in the middle of the year, is that I would review my new year resolutions. So the things that I did manage to do so far:
The things I didn’t manage to get on top of include:
To be honest, I think I took a different course from what I had in mind at the beginning of the year. Definitely more inspired compared to the beginning of the year but not much more! I was talking to one of my girl friends and she told me that I need to learn how to relax. I told her I thought I was - she rebutted with: “You don’t know how to really relax”.
It’s funny, you sometimes think you want something, so you work at it. Then half way there, you see other people and learnt some lessons and realize that you don’t really want it. Then you have to change the course that you were walking on. I am sure that many people go through this, and it is scary. It’s scary to have even taken the step to change because you are walking towards the unknown. But not changing because you are afraid is a weak excuse.
I am glad I quit ML - the way that it was going it was definitely unsustainable. I am glad I had let somethings go. I am glad I chose to be happy. I am glad that I had finally decided to take control of my life again.
Here is an African proverb that I came across:
Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up
It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed
Every morning a lion wakes up
It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death
It doesn’t matter whether you a lion or a gazelle
When the sun comes up, you better start running
Whilst peak oil is a depressing issue, I am more affected by the recent Israel-Lebanon conflict. I just don’t understand why.
I remembered a year ago when Syria pulled out of Lebanon after Rafik Hariri’s assasination - there wre celebrations everywhere. Finally - amongst all the tragedy that we’ve had the past few years a nation is free, the people have the freedom of choice, and amongst all those that did not work, this may be the beginning of something great. I was so touched by Hariri’s determination to free his own country, and though he did not see it, it was eventually - and I’d think that that in itself would be a great inspiration for its people to choose to live possibly a better and happier life than being oppressed.
And here we are, a year later, and we’ve got Lebanon’s Nasrallah poking into the back pocket of Israel. Don’t you have something better to do, like maybe rebuilding your country, maybe capitalizing on that extremely high oil price, or maybe even putting through some funds to your people? Instead, he’s ordered his soldiers to cross the border, capture two Israeli soliders. I mean, what was the point of that? I certainly hope this isn’t a play of the male ego.
Now, I’m not an Israeli advocate, or Lebanese, Iranian or Syrian. What I am, however, an advocate of peace. I was surprised, but impressed when Israel withdrew from the West Bank - finally, the Palestinians will have a chance in what may be their own world. I expected some peace and respect for each other. As to the reason why Palestinians are still suicide bombing, I have no idea. I mean, who does this - killing innocent people, demanding the world - in the name of what?
When you call your neighbours “Religious Zionists” but then you turn around and pull a bomb that kills yourself and people around you (kids included), what are you? How do you qualify to be a non-zionist? That all sounds like crazy talk to me.
Just in case if we didn’t know how many bombings are going on, or didn’t know geographically where we’re talking about -
(From The Economist)
That’s a lot of bombing for a small area.
What good can come out of it? Especially now that Syria may join in the party - are we back at square one? And Iran with its nukes, I mean, come on, are we really that unhappy? Is this because of religion, or is there something more?
Sometimes I think that it’s a pity that the person who calls the shots in a war isn’t actually in it. I mean, if you want to prove a point, what’s better than showing up yourself? No guerilla tactics, no nukes, no suicide bombings. Fewer casualties (I might also note that if Lebanon had provoked this war, it has lost a lot more of its citizens than Israel), less money spent, shorter time in conflict. It’s just so much more efficient. The battleground should be this - the two people who call the shots behind a conflict should show up on a vast piece of land with no weapons, at the same time. Then they should just fight it out. If you haven’t got the brains to figure out that wars kill people, children, and everything that generations have gone through to achieve, then you better had enough brawn.
Currently drinking Hardy’s Oomoo McLaren Vale Shiraz (2005)
A friend of mine have been reading up about peak oil issues and getting depressed by it. Undoubtedly oil is running out - you and I both know that oil is a finite resource. Whilst I do not believe that we should take it easily, I do still believe that it is not the end of the world.
There are apparently three views on available oil production (and subsequently the limit to what we can use) -
I’m probably the blue line.
My view is that in the past 100 years or so, we have been spoilt by a “cheap” resource that ultimately fueled (excuse the pun) global growth. It’s time for a correction - that is, it’s time for us to switch over. The “cheap” oil was cheap both financially and in its uses. (For comparable purposes (hopefully my conversions are correct) - Crude Oil at $75/bbl is ~$0.50/litre; gasoline last closed at $2.2775/gln ~$0.60/litre; ethanol last closed $2.618 /gln ~$0.69 / litre. ) Crude Oil is also refined and produced various petrochems (ethylene, prophylene etc) that became essential to our daily lives when further broken down or mixed with other chemicals. It’s in the plastic bags we use, to the take away boxes, to the clothes on our skin.
Now, I have to write a few caveats here - I am not an oil expert.
Call me a capitalist - but I am an advocate of economics. Having said that, I still don’t mean to leave everything to economics. I believe that in time, as the supply of oil run very, very scarce, that it will be too expensive such that it no longer becomes affordable. People will have to switch over to alternative fuels, people will have to change their habits. When push comes to shove, people will adapt, they will have to change. To avoid that “sudden” change, some governments (Brazil, US, Japan, Europe etc) has initiated on ethanol to reduce their dependency on oil.
People have already change their habits - take falling SUVs sales for example (http://money.cnn.com/2004/05/17/pf/autos/suvs_gas/). Maybe it’s just the time for people to change…
But seriously, oil hasn’t come as cheaply as it seemed it had - we’ve been spoilt. Spoilt into thinking fuels are cheap and that this may just last forever. We’ve been spoilt into excess! The amount of plastic that we use - bags or boxes - is excessive! And look at the pollution that it has come to. Ethanol is a much cleaner fuel - end product being water. The refinering of crude oil will burn less toxic gas - are we forgetting those issues?
Anyone got anything to say about oil, please educate me.
The Oil Drum - http://www.theoildrum.com/?gclid=CLPBk6-LroYCFR0oTAod2B14Dw
I got this beautiful faux leather box and some uber soft sheets (it’d better be with 1000 TC written all over the package plus price tag too)!! Three more of those boxes on the way (they were out of stock) and the man (John) even told me that he will do the delivery free of charge. The world has some very beautiful people and things.
Moved a half-load of my university notes into that big box - finally, one stage of my life packed away. Well, there are still a lot to go. Not to mention those CFA notes too. I remember I told one of my ex-boyfriends that when I want to forget about someone I would pack all things that reminded me of them in a box. Ironicly, six months after I was packing his mementos into a silver box.
I promise from now on I will treasure all the small little things that make this world wonderful.
Going for a walk at Maroubra Beach with the girls. The weather today is definitely beautiful, sun is out, birds are chirping. Can’t wait!!
Just when you least expect it, Sydney’s come out with some fantastic weather this weekend.
I had a bad dream last night, ran along the course of me having a phone conversation with him:
Me: So how are things?
Him: Good, Jess and I *mutter* *mutter*
Me: Sorry I couldn’t hear you?
Him: *mutter*… moved in… *mutter* going out.
Gist of it - Jess relocated overseas for him and they are now going out.
I know it was just a stupid dream (wasn’t even the right location!), and it was most probably just because my house phone rang late at night last night and I didn’t want to pick it up for the fear that it was him. (And it most probably wasn’t, maybe some late night telemarketing call) I couldn’t help but being affected when I woke up - the issue that I’ve had was that he’s had some time to get over me (right after he cheated) and I didn’t.
Further confirms that I should not be talking to him yet.
But it didn’t take me long to get over that. Woke up at 830am, went to the gym, did a Spin class, walked out and felt that warm sunshine on my face and I felt that smile warming me too. What have I got to be upset about? I live in one of the world’s most beautiful city, I have a job that I actually do love, I have a beautiful family and wonderful friends, and the things that I believe in I will defend.
… well it might change when I get my CFA results, but I have a feeling it might hold up even after that.
Currently listening to Real Life by Evermore.
… Or something like that. I think it was Edison who said that.
And I realized that recently I can’t seem to have faith.
I am confident that I am really quite over him now. Of course, I think of him from time to time, but I have come to accept whatever it was. One of my friends told me that was the last step in “getting over” someone. Or maybe he stole that from Scrubs.
Having been through whatever it was, I am getting back to it. And I am happy. Happier than I had been when I was with him. I am doing my own thing and I am more confident of what I am capable of. Don’t get me wrong, I had never thought I was below average, but nowadays I am growingly more confident of my work. I am happy to see the sun when I wake up (but this week Sydney has produced some very average weather), and I am happy to go out and have a coffee and read my book.
But, everywhere I turn, it seems like there are cheaters everywhere. Thursday night a mate of mine told me how he had cheated on his girlfriend (whom many of us thought would get married soon). Friday night I became informed of an ex-colleague of mine who cheated whilst he was engaged (he is now married). He was one of the best people I have ever had the opportunity to work with and I had always rated him all along.
I know I have to separate what has got to do with professional lives and what is personal, but I noticed that I was disappointed. Why is it that it seems like there are so many lies everywhere? People around me seemed to have been cheated on or are cheating on their partners.
I am aware that this realization should not burden the next man I meet, but how can I trust the next person to not do what everyone else seems to do with ease? My friend told me: “Guys are stupid and they fuck up”, but you don’t just fuck up, you made the choice to fuck up. If we could blame so many things in life as being accidental and no one was held accountable for their words or actions then what are the fundamentals of our society?
Give me some light, it doesn’t even need to shine through the whole stairway, I just need to see the few steps.
Currently reading The World is Flat by Thomas Friedman
(Would also like to send my thanks to my wonderful friends who pulled me through. I have so much love for you.)
