… Stories of My Mind …

It’s not like I insist on being single, but I just have been. And I am actually okay with that, I absolutely enjoy all these moments that I get to myself.

But a friend recently offhandedly commented on me being the perennial single girl. I didn’t choose to be so, but let’s look at some of the men I met this year and what happened to them:

• Mr Friend: I spent a lot of time getting to know him, the rest I spent my time crushing, never really knowing if I really did like him for everything that he is, or if it was infatuation. Being me, I couldn’t act on it without knowing what I am doing. So I did nothing, and we became friends. I recently saw him again, and realized that whilst I may still be infatuated, a large part of it was that I actually liked him, for who he is, for how he thinks and what he thinks. This time round, he is actually even better than before. But that realization came too late, and I’d be crestfallen if we could never be friends again. Things and events always have consequences, and I can’t bear for it to turn out adversely. I like him so much I’d rather not risk losing everything there is.
• Mr Vacation: I’m not sure how you leave such an impression on someone after a few days but he did. The funny thing about it was that nothing actually happened. We just talked a lot - we strolled around the park, we ate, we laughed, we reminisced, we danced, we stayed out till 4am despite a freezing cold night. But here we are yet again, still in contact and getting to know each other. I’m not sure if there is an ending, but I’m not sure if there is a plot either.
  
• Mr Experience: I’d never let business mix with pleasure but I strayed once and maybe I wasn’t that sorry for it. Okay, so there’s a bit of a smirk in that, but it’s one of those things which are more perfect when left imperfect, so you could think that maybe it could have been perfect, and you leave yourself with that thought. And so he did, or at least from what little I know of him, meet the four essential criteria I have for men worth dating, and then some more. But we’d never have a chance to try that out now, would we?
• Mr Normal: Finally, a man who was not strange, sleezy nor imposing. He was normal, but we were worlds apart. Some evenings, when we were together, we’d be next to each other, and we’d do what a couple would do, but we know, that we aren’t, because without a doubt, we could never be. It’s funny to think how much education we’ve had, and how non-discriminatory I try to be, when it comes down to it, him and I, we are just from completely different worlds.
  
• Mr Almost There: I actually sort of like this guy. I really do like his personality, I like it how he’s into what he’s into, and how’s he learning, and open to it. I like it how he tries to understand things, how he is grounded, and see through the meaning of things earlier than the average male. I like it that he’s enthusiastic about things other than what he already is. But, I don’t like it that he’s relatively inexperienced. Beyond that, the problem lies with me - I feel no physical attraction for him. Which is a real pity - because I really enjoy his company.
  

Okay, I admit, maybe I am the picky sort. Just a little. In my defense, I just don’t believe that right now, I should try for something that I already know I don’t like. I don’t want to date for the sake of dating, and whilst it’s nice being spoilt, I don’t want to date wrong men, again.